Saturday, August 12, 2006

37 Reasons for Having a Shoes-Off Policy in Your Home


I have not run out of new posts, I am just posting this again because it is important. It so is important.

37 Reasons for having a shoes-off policy in your home:

1. Carpets are not easy to clean.
2. Carpets absorb dust and become breeding grounds for dust mites, causing the development of asthma and allergies.
3. If you do not have a carpet, the dust will not be absorbed and you are likely to breathe it in.
4. Shoes can leave marks on wood, PVC and marble floors.
5. Shoes can scratch wood flooring, especially if they have high heels.
6. Boots and high heeled shoes can cause wear and tear to carpets.
7. That goes for rugs as well.
8. Shoes pick up small particles of grit that cause wear and tear to carpets.
9. Shoes pick up traces of petrol fumes and industrial pollution.
10. Shoes can pick up pesticides, fertilizers and other chemicals.
11. Shoes pick up traces of animal excrement.
12. Ever noticed how much chewing gum there is stuck to the streets?
13. In a square mile, there are more insects than people on the planet. How many do you think you have squashed on your shoes?
14. If you have a crawling baby, do you want him or her to be exposed to the dirt from people's shoes?
15. In rain or snow, you are less likely to get the floor wet.
16. If you live near a beach, you will bring less sand into the house.
17. If you have a crawling baby, you will do less damage if you accidently step on him or her.
18. If you get mad and kick the cat or dog, you will do less damage (apologies to animal lovers).
19. If your children play rough, they will do less damage.
20. It creates a less formal atmosphere.
21. It creates a greater sense of relaxation.
22. Your guests will become more like you by removing their shoes and will feel part of the family.
23. An oriental, Scandinavian or East European visitor will feel more at home.
24. It teaches children the importance of respecting and looking after things.
25. Psychologically, removing your shoes helps you to enter a frame of mind where you keep your everyday troubles outside your home.
26. It is more comfortable.
27. It is healthier for you feet to take your shoes off during the day.
28. Small children with growing feet should wear shoes only to the minimum.
29. If you wear high-heeled shoes, your feet badly need a break.
30. You can put your feet up on the sofa without taking your shoes off first (Dont tell me you put your feet on the sofa with shoes on?).
31. You can put your feet up on the coffee table without taking your shoes off first.
32. If you ever visit Japan, it will seem less weird.
33. If you are ever arrested and they confiscate your shoes, along with your belt and jewellery, it will seem less weird.
34. Your feet smell less if you do not wear them all day.
35. When you lovingly chastise your children, you will have a slipper to hand.
36. It was a Biblical custom (come on, did they wash their feet with shoes on?)
37. Do you really think the Saints in Glory are going to trample the sparkling, clean New Jerusalem with shoes on?


The IBEX Scribe said...

33. If you are ever arrested and they confiscate your shoes, along with your belt and jewellery, it will seem less weird.

Somehow I think this one is the greatest incentive for me, as I am constantly worried about how weird it will be for me if I ever get arrested. Or not.

Good stuff, Matt. Most people don't think about these things.

Dyspraxic Fundamentalist said...

You mean you never feel like breaking a few laws? What a good law-abiding lass you are.

Some Christians here in the UK constantly expect the government to start persecuting Christians.

Then again, in 2002, a street preacher called Harry Hammond was preaching with a banner which said 'Stop Homosexuality Now.' He was attacked by a group of Homosexuals. The police then arrested the poor old man because of his banner.

We also nearly had legislation introduced that which would have made it illegal to 'incite religious hatred.' Thankfully, the Lord saved us from that.

Thanks for your support, Angie.

Every Blessing in Christ


Redeemed said...

Those are great reasons, Matthew.

But did you actually come up with all 37 of them?

Dyspraxic Fundamentalist said...

Yes, I did, Sarah. Thanks.

The IBEX Scribe said...

Well, I do have a tendency to break some traffic laws (or at least the same one over and over and over again), but generally nothing that would get me arrested. What is more tempting are things that are, according to the government, lawful but are not at all profitable.