Monday, November 01, 2010

Christian Headcovering, Removing Shoes and the need for a Punk Attitude


It is my belief that Christian women should wear an headscarf or veil during worship. This is not a fashionable idea amongst modern evangelicals, but I believe it is biblical.

Occasionally I hear from Christian women who feel some conviction over the issue, yet who say something like:

'I am starting to feel that the Bible does teach headcovering, but I am scared to wear one because of what other women at church might think.'

I find this attitude remarkably similar to what some people say about having a shoes-off policy:

'I would really like people to remove their shoes in my home, but I am scared to ask because of what they might think.'

Notice the similarity?

I think this fear of other peoples opinion is just so destructive. It paralyses people and traps them in a mundane world of convention. It holds back any attempt to try out alternative ideas.

You have probably gathered that I am a very conservative person in my values, but when it comes to this phobia, the part of me that loves Punk Rock really kicks in. When it comes to this fear of change because of the opinion of others, I am reminded of the need for the Punk attitude.

The virtue of Punk is a rebellion against conventions that limit us and prevent us from being true to what we really think and feel. Its about being true to yourself and what you stand for.

The Christian woman who has come to believe in the necessity of headcovering should be free to cover and stand against the shallowness of those who sneer at a covered hairstyle or the timidity of pastors who are afraid to preach on the issue. They should not fear the dirty looks or the accusation of rocking the boat.

Likewise, those of us who want shoes off in our homes should not be afraid. We must be true and honest about ourselves.

Who cares if people think we are 'clean freaks' or visitors mutter after they leave our homes? People who are really our friends like us enough to respect our preferences and will enjoy our company shoes-off or not.


Moderate Mouse said...


I thought I'd pop in to see how the shoe-removal discussion was going. I'm not going to say much this time as I have some business to attend to in connection to one of my own blogs. However, I should probably point out that in the last sentence of the fourth paragraph from the end, the word "It's" is missing an apostrophe.

Anonymous said...

I've been following your posts for some time now. Since after a visit from relatives after moving and leaving a former home with hard wood floors to a new home with carpeting as soon as you walk in the door.-----

This ordeal with shoes off at the door has become a battle of the wills. The very same people who in the past had asked ME to remove my shoes when they got new carpeting, have a weird attitude when approaching my new home and my asking them to remove their shoes. One family of friends visiting our new home, have teens, one teen looked at me and said "NO." my reply was "House rules" so she did remove her shoes. The father, tracked across the living room, then my significant other had to be firm with him. He did too remove shoes, but I am sure that it was discussed later like we were a couple of odd ball people now. I had a basket at the door, with loaner slippers in them too.

Basically I can not believe the attitudes we get from our family and friends. So we must ask ourselves these questions.....

1.Do we want to be alone. Never having company, or worrying about conflict or confrontation with the disrespectful but long time friends or family.....
2. Do we just want to visit others on their "turf" if they are being disrespectful and have issues with shoe removal?
3. Just know that it is a matter of respect issues for someone else's home, and don't invite them back, letting the relationship slip away gradually. Those of you who say 3, think carefully, these people could be family also.....
4. Make them "back door" people. Upon expecting their arrival, open the garage door, flag them down to enter the home through the back entrance as not to inflict discomfort on either party. Being "back door" folks won't sit well with some. Either way, all these examples lead to a lonely life where someone will ultimately just stay away because we're weird.

I always find that it is the OTHER person who has the problem. I am always always respectful of another's clean home and admire it. I can't believe this is so very difficult to deal with.

Celestial Fundy said...

Thankyou so much for following my posts. If you don't mind my asking, do you live in the UK, USA or elsewhere?

I have said on this blog that it is up to you whether you let people come in who refuse to de-shoe. How important is their visit to you?

One thing I do find with this topic is that people don't seem to discuss the issue with offending relatives. They opt either to let the issue go, or not invite them again.

Why not talk to them and say how much it bothers you and ask why they feel they cannot comply.

Tell them how much their visits matter to you, but explain that you would like them to comply.

Would buying them a pair of slippers help? Could they bring their own?

What is so often missing is discussion about the subject.

Anonymous said...

I am from the US. Midwest. I know what could be going through the mind right now, hillbillies galore which we are not---and where all the mouthy disrespectful youngsters live. :).........

My visit is important with friends and family, we have few friends and not a large family so it is uncomfortable to discuss. My partner and I sat down to discuss tearing up our carpet to have company come in and he said, NO!! Its our friends and relatives we have, that have the problem with this not us.

I guess that I have to stick by what I think and go see them at their homes instead of them at ours, but a house isn't a home without sharing it. I'd love to know that everybody I know respects us, and our wishes. They say we teach people how to treat us. I think that I have in the past. We are accommodating, people, and maybe that is what the see.

Thanks for your input. I have bought 2 pair loaner slippers also. Not sure why it has to be such an issue for us.