Friday, November 19, 2010

Having A Shoes-Off Policy


re-post

Having a shoes-off policy does not mean that:

- You do not know the difference between asking and demanding.

- You ask your guests to remove their shoes in an unpleasent or rude manner.

- You "force" your guests to remove their shoes.

- You would not make an exception for elderly people or those with a medical issue.

- You would never make an exception if a guest felt really uncomfortable with removing her shoes (this is at your discretion).

- You would never make an exception for a party (but you don't have to; shoeless parties are great too!)

- You would not try to let guests know in advance that you prefer shoes-off.

- You make your guests wear horrible fluffy slippers that have been worn by hundreds of previous guests.

- You think your guests shoes are dirtier than your own.

- You treat your guests like children.

- You are obsessed with cleanliness.

- You are anally rententive.

- You are germaphobic.

- You keep your children in a sealed plastic bubble.

- You have plastic sheeting on your furniture.

- You have a foot fetish.

- You care more about your carpets than your guests.

- You are not an absolutely delightful host or hostess.

9 comments:

Moderate Mouse said...

I can't stay for long since as of sometime after the next hour and ten minutes, my 8-year-old nephew (as well as my sister's 2-year-old dog) will be at my/my mom's house for the weekend. (In my home, there's no such thing as a shoes-off policy though my mom had talked about eventually initiating one; whether or not it does happen remains to be seen. Regardless of whether or not it happens, I doubt my mom would ever do the plastic sheeting thing on furniture. If I use anything from the "Degrees of Firmness" list with my nephew when shows up, it'll probably be along the lines of #1 so that he knows that it should be at least okay to have his shoes off like he would at home as he will be staying overnight.) Nonetheless, I can't keep this in my head any longer.

In the last thread, I mentioned that I felt funny about walking on some fluffy carpet with my shoes on, and that was just in a public place. Here's another "have I lost my mind" moment I've experienced. As someone who has been sobering up from being so dependent on shoes at home (eight and a half months and counting), I think I've gotten to a point where, I need to step up my game as far as helping out at home in order to prove to myself and/or others around me that I can maintain the same energy and/or productivity at home in my ballet flat slippers or "at home" flip-flops (possibly less than that depending on the situation) that some Tramplians, including (I think) certain housekeeping "experts" (who shall remain nameless unless otherwise requested) claim can only happen if one is dressed all the way to actual shoes.

Is this normal for someone like me who is relatively new to the concept of purposely leading a predominately, if not entirely shoe-free life inside the home, or am I just imagining things here?

Celestial Fundy said...

Your alluding to that FlyLady article? I think there was quite a lot of negative response to that.

I think I went through a similar process to you in my early twenties when my parents instituted a shoes-off rule for family.

Moderate Mouse said...

"Your alluding to that FlyLady article?"

Well, her too. Even when I was dressing all the way to the shoes every day no matter what, said shoes weren't always the lace up kind. Sometimes they were loafers or sandals or flip-flops (weather permitting and if availalble). But given some of the things I do from time to time, such as checking my weight or (though less often) updating my pedicure, I question the appropriateness of lace-up shoes in the home (unless it's an emergency). Also, for reasons that I won't expound upon here (though I'm prepared to in a later comment upon request) there are various parts of the world where Flylady's "dress to the shoes" theory would not hold water by any stretch of the imagination.

I'll give her this, though. I dare say that she comes closer to being right in advocating putting on acutal clothes as soon as possible in the morning over dwelling in one's pajamas for an hour or two. (Not only have I witnessed the latter from various people around me, but I've done this on the weekends and in the summer when I was growing up. But as an adult? Not so much, unless of course, I'm sick.)

Enough about THAT F-word. Considering what I said in my last comment, I've been thinking about episodes of "Wife-Swap" (the US version) that I've seen. In two of the episodes, one of the households featured had a "shoes-off" policy. There were two other episodes where one of the households featured appeared to have a shoes-off rule, at least for household members, but this was never confirmed or denied. Generally, such households were portrayed as being the stricter of the two featured at the time in other respects (including but not limited to children were expected to keep on top of their chores, study hard, take part in certain activities, maintain a decent appearance, or any combination of the aforementioned). The more I think about it, the more I wonder whether this was coincidental or if shoes-off homes do in fact tend to be stricter in other areas as well than a lot of ones with no such policy.

Celestial Fundy said...

"The more I think about it, the more I wonder whether this was coincidental or if shoes-off homes do in fact tend to be stricter in other areas as well than a lot of ones with no such policy."

Not necessarilly. This blog has been visited a few times by a mother who has a shoes-off policy. She is an anarchist who advocates 'unschooling' (homeschooling that allows the child to learn what he or she wants without any program) and permissive parenting.

Shirley said...

Most people do prefer to have clean floors in their homes. If you want to relax and sit on your floor to play a game, read a book, exercise or watch television you would want to have a clean floor surface underneath your body, right? Well then, consider how unsanitary those carpets and hardwood floors are if you, and everyone else, tracks dirt in each day on the bottoms of their shoes.

We decided that Visit the wearing shoes in the house was to stop in our house, and we did so a few years ago. Haven't looked back since. Thanks for the post :)

Celestial Fundy said...

Nice to hear from you again, Shirley. Keep up the good work with your website.

Moderate Mouse said...

This one little girl who I've seen sit barefoot or in socks in church did it once again this morning.

Being shoeless in church is not really an idea that is promoted in the US. However, today, I took a risk and, sometime when I got to my usual seat, I slipped off my loafers (which I probably should replace when it becomes feasible) and switched into a pair of satin black slippers I had in my purse. (I did this as discreetly as possible as there is an elderly lady that I normally sit next to, and I would've hated to shock her. But neither she nor anyone else around me seemed to notice. Apart from that, I wore a black skirt, a white blouse, a pink sweater/jumper, pearls and black opaque tights, if that counts for anything.) I think it went over pretty well apart from something else apparently falling out of my purse during the switch, which I couldn't retrieve after discovering it because of timing and thus have to wait until tomorrow.

I might try doing this some more. If anyone is at all shocked or confused about it, maybe I could 1) point out that the Japanese do it all the time or 2) tell them about feeling funny about walking on fluffy carpet with my shoes on the other day, since the carpeting in the church, especially the sanctuary, is similar to what was in that store that I looked around in on Tuesday (though I still can't figure out why that revelation had to occur in public rather than a private home).

Sandro said...

MM, your action in the church is worth the highest respect as you have done what you think you should do in spite of the community reaction. Let me suppose should you change your shoes at the door, it would be more contributing to the carpet cleanness and even less noticeable by other visitors if it is an issue of concern for you.

Celestial Fundy said...

Your satin black slippers probably look like a lot of the shoes that young women wear these days. I doubt anyone would notice.